I had to release my son to God

Natasha Bennett
Nov 20, 2022
3 min read

Good Morning Prayer Closet Warriors!!

Becoming a mother to my son was one of the best things that ever happened to me, and aside from my son, I also have the privilege to be a mom to my two bonus babies. I love them both dearly. Really, God blessed me to be a mother before becoming a mother.

God allowed me to truly walk and experience motherhood fully by carrying and giving birth to my son. The transition that I would undergo in this process was unknown to me, with my body, my moods, my mind all changing beyond my control. They say experience is the best teacher though, right? As amazing as it is, becoming a parent for the first time has had some real challenges.

I remember having this overwhelming feeling after Jiraiya was born. I sat up in the hospital bed, and thought about EVERY bad situation a new mom shouldn’t have been thinking about. I thought about how corrupt the world was and worried about how it would affect him. I started to feel scared and hopeless. He was outside of my body now, and I couldn’t protect him like I wanted. So I told myself without telling myself, he was my top priority. I will always need to protect him.

Now here's where I went wrong with that… I put him, my precious baby boy over myself, my fiancé, and most importantly, I put him over God. God makes it very clear in Exodus 20:5 “You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the LORD your God, I am a JEALOUS God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me.”

I made my son an idol… I made him my god. The realization of that hurt me when it was brought to my attention. To be honest, I thought I was doing a good thing by putting my child first. I didn’t think I went down a wrong path or was in disobedience to God...But I was!

I had to repent and ask for forgiveness. I forgave myself, extended grace to myself, and gave my son back to God. God was the one who gave him to me. God was one who took His time forming him in my womb. He knows every hair on his head, his ends and outs, and every up and down my son will ever face. God's plans for him will always be better than mine and I trust His plan. The enemy wants you to believe you'll be in it alone, that you need to handle everything on your own but, its a lie! I carried, but God created him.

I had to learn, and I’m still learning what truly God expects from me as a parent. It's very tempting to want to help your child through everything, but the reality is we aren’t always around for everything. Take some time with God today, and ask Him if you have put your child before Him. Share with Him all your concerns and worry points. Ask Him how you can be a better parent to your child or children.

I love you all and pray this blesses you!

Sincerely,

Natasha

The Prayer Closet Mama ™